| Reverend Ema Drouillard Wedding Officiant The Christian Century |
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Publication Date: 18-JUL-01
Author: Marty, Martin E.
COPYRIGHT 2001 The Christian Century Foundation
MICHAEL LERICH ought to be a hero to church musicians and pastors, most of" whom abhor the
music chosen by bridal couples for church weddings. "Trust us," says Lerich. Couples should "leave
their personal musical tastes at home. What you listen to in the car or at home with a bottle of merlot
does not always transfer" to a wedding celebration.
If only those who are stewards of what goes on in the sanctuary had the guts, the clout or the vision to
say "trust us" to couples who want to use a Christian church for pagan ceremonies that go better with
a bottle of merlot than with a house of God. Of course, one would not trust Lerich to pick the music for
the blessing of the vows, good though he might be at choosing it for more peripheral parts of the
celebration. His "aces in the hole" are "Soul Man," "Twist and Shout," "I Will Survive," "Let's Stay
Together," "Smooth," "Hot Stuff" and "The Way You Look Tonight." Trust us: much church-wedding
music does not rise to these heights.
home when giving grudging assent to words chosen by couples to be read or uttered or vowed in
church ceremonies. Or the presiding and blessing cleric wishes for plugged ears as lectors step
forward from wedding parties or couples recite vows unrehearsed and unanticipated.
According to Cathy Lynn Grossman, who in USA Today condensed an article in a recent Brides
magazine, tastes are changing but, to our taste, not improving. Good news, of course, to the ears of
several hundred thousand clergy is the fact that Kahlil Gibran's "Scripture-esque poetry has paled."
And not an epoch too soon. The Little Prince is flying away. Good riddance. It's nice also that pastors
and couples now can see only the vanishing tail of The Velveteen Rabbit. Even the few lines of kitsch
that poet Rainer Maria von Rilke ever wrote are being used less regularly. Good. We can get back to
the rest of Rilke.
So what is replacing all these? According to Grossman, the current lead is a putative "Apache
Blessing," words probably never voiced by a living I breathing Apache. ("Go now to your dwelling
place to enter into the clays of your togetherness, and may your days be good and long togerther.")
"Countless versions of the questionably authentic blessing are on the Internet," Grossman states. But
says Ema Drouillard, a nondenominational wedding specialist in San Francisco, "A lot of people don't
even want readings. They're tired of the Apache Blessing, tired of the Bible. It's 'been there, heard
that.'"
Drouillard adapts to the 30 percent who refuse any reference to religion in a service presided over by
a "reverend." "She has a draft of soul-free [sic] basic vows in her repertoire." Soul-less, perhaps?
William Doherty of the University of Minnesota, who studies these things, notes that many
individuals who enter "consumer marriage" with a contract like a variable mortgage "based almost
entirely on whether our personal needs are met" come up with vows such as "as long as we both shall
love," not "live." The divorce court beckons.
Of course, the Bible is not rich in wedding texts. Duke University chaplain William H. Willimon
writes about how hard it is to find pro-family and pro-marriage texts. Don't try Luke 14:26 or even
Ephesians 5, which is about the church, not marriage. Still, one can do better than use fake-Apache
or "soul-less" San Franciscoisms by reaching into other corners of the Bible, the classic liturgies (OK,
we'll give up on "obey"!) and profound and moving Christian poetry.
Author: Marty, Martin E.
COPYRIGHT 2001 The Christian Century Foundation
MICHAEL LERICH ought to be a hero to church musicians and pastors, most of" whom abhor the
music chosen by bridal couples for church weddings. "Trust us," says Lerich. Couples should "leave
their personal musical tastes at home. What you listen to in the car or at home with a bottle of merlot
does not always transfer" to a wedding celebration.
If only those who are stewards of what goes on in the sanctuary had the guts, the clout or the vision to
say "trust us" to couples who want to use a Christian church for pagan ceremonies that go better with
a bottle of merlot than with a house of God. Of course, one would not trust Lerich to pick the music for
the blessing of the vows, good though he might be at choosing it for more peripheral parts of the
celebration. His "aces in the hole" are "Soul Man," "Twist and Shout," "I Will Survive," "Let's Stay
Together," "Smooth," "Hot Stuff" and "The Way You Look Tonight." Trust us: much church-wedding
music does not rise to these heights.
home when giving grudging assent to words chosen by couples to be read or uttered or vowed in
church ceremonies. Or the presiding and blessing cleric wishes for plugged ears as lectors step
forward from wedding parties or couples recite vows unrehearsed and unanticipated.
According to Cathy Lynn Grossman, who in USA Today condensed an article in a recent Brides
magazine, tastes are changing but, to our taste, not improving. Good news, of course, to the ears of
several hundred thousand clergy is the fact that Kahlil Gibran's "Scripture-esque poetry has paled."
And not an epoch too soon. The Little Prince is flying away. Good riddance. It's nice also that pastors
and couples now can see only the vanishing tail of The Velveteen Rabbit. Even the few lines of kitsch
that poet Rainer Maria von Rilke ever wrote are being used less regularly. Good. We can get back to
the rest of Rilke.
So what is replacing all these? According to Grossman, the current lead is a putative "Apache
Blessing," words probably never voiced by a living I breathing Apache. ("Go now to your dwelling
place to enter into the clays of your togetherness, and may your days be good and long togerther.")
"Countless versions of the questionably authentic blessing are on the Internet," Grossman states. But
says Ema Drouillard, a nondenominational wedding specialist in San Francisco, "A lot of people don't
even want readings. They're tired of the Apache Blessing, tired of the Bible. It's 'been there, heard
that.'"
Drouillard adapts to the 30 percent who refuse any reference to religion in a service presided over by
a "reverend." "She has a draft of soul-free [sic] basic vows in her repertoire." Soul-less, perhaps?
William Doherty of the University of Minnesota, who studies these things, notes that many
individuals who enter "consumer marriage" with a contract like a variable mortgage "based almost
entirely on whether our personal needs are met" come up with vows such as "as long as we both shall
love," not "live." The divorce court beckons.
Of course, the Bible is not rich in wedding texts. Duke University chaplain William H. Willimon
writes about how hard it is to find pro-family and pro-marriage texts. Don't try Luke 14:26 or even
Ephesians 5, which is about the church, not marriage. Still, one can do better than use fake-Apache
or "soul-less" San Franciscoisms by reaching into other corners of the Bible, the classic liturgies (OK,
we'll give up on "obey"!) and profound and moving Christian poetry.
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